Within the last few weeks

Hello Internets,

It’s already going to be 3 weeks into school by this Wednesday and I can admit I am kinda tired. Mainly of my Wednesdays I’m on campus from 9:30 am til 10:00 pm. At the end of the day I’m pretty much tired. I am happy about my classes so ehhh the schedule will have to stay. Hmmm what can I write about? What has passed in my life since I last wrote, a few holidays (Valentines Day, Groundhogs Day, Presidents Day which is today) and my recent club experience, but yeah life is pretty much the same as it has always been

Holidays

Within the last month since last I had written, the time has been filled with arbitrary holidays of hearts, presidents, and a groundhog. Lets start in chronological order with Groundhogs day on February 2nd. I can tell you that little motherfucker is lying to us. I woke up to the news, hearing that the supposed magical weather fortune telling groundhog had foreseen that we were going to have an early spring coming up. Next thing you know California is hit with continuous storms. I say this as I write this entry  in my flannel pajamas and newly bought jacket to prepare for the storm. I’ve lost all trust in groundhog-kind now, I was betting on that little bitch and now he curses me with doubt of his species existence. How does one really trust a groundhog to tell the weather forecast anyway. As the myth goes that little son of a bitch groundhog comes out from his hole in the ground and checks to see if he sees his shadow. If he doesn’t see his shadow then an early spring is a comin’, but if he does see his shadow then six more weeks of winter. As I see it, mankind was doomed from the start of this tradition. What kind of animal, object, things does not have a shadow. Everything has a shadow. EVERYTHING. Is this some different breed of groundhog? For example a vampire does not see his/her reflection in a mirror or in a picture, is that the same for this breed of groundhog? Half bloodsucker, half groundhog vermin? and I ask you, where do you get one of these groundhogs? In an antique store in the heart of Chinatown, like gremlins? But how I see it is, you can trust mo’fo anyways.

Next on the list of arbitrary holidays is Valentine’s day. I can understand when it is a day to celebrate love by giving gifts that come from the heart, such as say a nice gesture, a sentimental letter to your significant other, or something given with lots of thought and consideration for your partner in it, but most people exploit it for their own gain; let me spell it out for you people, GETTING. LAID. It is either a holiday to get fucked, be fucked, or feel fucked (up). Get fucked, yeah I don’t really have to explain that one. Be fucked because it is a day that you have to buy your girl/also sometimes guy lavish, possibly expensive and also last minute, shit (and when I say shit, I mean useless, thoughtless items) to show that you love them. Feel fucked up because you are single and the day is rubbing it’s genitalia in your face because you are forever alone and never going to get some/give some. For most it is an arbitrary money wasting day for those who celebrate it.

Lastly, Presidents Day. It’s an excuse of a day to take a day off from work or school. Which I am absolutely fine with 😀 … No one celebrates the Presidents on this day, they just use it as a day to laze around at home and do nothing. As a matter of fact most people don’t even know all the presidents of the United States of America.  Again, I am absolutely fine with that 😀 The laze around thing anyway. Get real America and makers of calendars, let’s just change this day to “I don’t give no kinds of fuck Day” Because I can tell you on this day I don’t give no kinds of fuck about anything. For those who don’t have this day off, well that just sucks. Sorry no sympathy here I’m too busy celebrating and not giving a fuck.

More to come luvvies at another time. I want to write about the drunk partially naked bitches I saw at the club on saturday but I am just tired. Another day (or maybe a few hours from now) and another post.

– ❤ Jacqueline

Soup, Soup and more Soup

Good Morning all,

The Laryngitis has taken over and it has me craving soup all day, everyday. I am a monster that craves in the morning, noon and night; like a zombie to brains, like a werewolf to red meat, or like a vampire to blood. This is a disease, an infection that has put me in the category with the likes of them, those ravenous monsters whom I had spoken of before. I know how it feels like to KILL… a can of soup or to be able to SMELL… the broth of a stew from a Panera eatery miles away. Soup runs through my veins and is the very reason I live in this world today. Okay let me get real now, I’m just tired of telling people I have laryngitis when I order soup.

Yes, I am a soup fiend because I am currently sick with Laryngitis; and yes it is laryngitis, you heard it correctly. I don’t  know how I got it, when exactly I got it, or where I got it. I blame the cold rainy weather, the hospital I visited the week I got sick, my Aunt’s children whom are all sick, or who knows maybe the mailman, but the point here is I got it and it’s here to stay for a week or so. If all my friends could just be a dear and bring soup for me it would be delightful. If you are my friend and you have not done so yet, you have a week to get me some starting today or we shall no longer be friends. Capiche? Just kidding, okay half kidding. I really want some soup all kinds, any kinds. It makes my throat and belly happy 🙂

So it all started about maybe last week on a Thursday night I felt my throat getting dry and irritated, thinking I was just going to get a cold. I let it come like it was nothing but within a day or so my voice was completely gone and I knew something was wrong. I went a few days thinking my voice would come back again. After four days or so with no talking I decided that seeing the doctor was the way to go. I went to the hospital thinking I was going to get the thorough services I needed, but the visit to the doctor was really quite weird. It was weird because the actual time I had with the doctor literally took maybe 5 minutes or less. He checked my vitals, looked inside my mouth for a whole second and said “You have laryngitis” like it was whatever, gave me a prescription and let me go. Was he that good of a doctor where he could just look at me and know whats wrong, or was his diagnosis not thorough enough but he just wanted to be done with me. Then when I left to get signed out by the nurse, I could see my doctor laughing and playing with his blackberry phone along his other doctor chums. I really hope I don’t have some fatal disease that he failed to see in my diagnosis. For now I will just keep taking the medicine he prescribed to me and hope my illness go away. I’m just happy to partially have my voice back for now, but my hunger for soup has never been so strong. If I end up dying we all know who’s fault it is. Also if I die do me a favor and sue his ass in honor of me. Please and Thank you!

Okay kiddies I am off to heal. See all of you later.

– ❤ Jacqueline

Consistency

Hello to all and to all a good read,

I swear to all of you I am going to stay consistent in writing on this thing. As god is my witness I will stay consistent for you, or more like for my own sanity. I haven’t written since Christmas, but it’s because of all the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Since dealing with the chaos from within because of doing nothing on Christmas day, I have been fairly busy spending time with people I love. I left for a few days back to that horrible place I called home (also the place I wrote nice things about on an earlier post, showing my love for The Dino), spent time with my family, and visited some friends.

Home, what can I say about home. I missed it terribly. I missed my grandparents, all the kids, my aunts and uncles. It’s like nothing had changed; as if I came back to how I left it or like time stood still. I think that’s the quirky charm of San Bernardino though. It seems to stay the same no matter how much time has passed. The same ol’ people who hate it there and can’t wait to leave, but just don’t ever seem to have the motivation. Or those other people who are in denial and tell themselves it’s not that bad there. The same ol’ sites to see and everything.

Being home for such a short time was really comforting. The joys of being home for me are spending time with my family members, being in a Vietnamese house, listening to Vietnamese television and kids running around laughing in the background, while I serve myself and do things on my own. These things put me in a state of temporary peace. It’s nice for the short period of time that I am there and I am happy I always have a place to go to when the going gets tough. At the same time I am happy to leave when I get back to realizations that this is just a chaotic day in the life of my family and usually most days are filled with exhaustion and driven by the kids’ needs. I am happy to visit and also happy to go. Also, seeing some of my friends was really nice. Being able to actually see them and hang out, instead of texting, emailing, calling, even snail mailing them was nice for once.

Being home for the holidays for a bit was nice but I’m off to continue my off time in other ways.

– ❤ Jacqueline

 

Peaceful Holidays… I think

Happy Holidays!

Today is Christmas day and for the first time I have nothing to do. This year is full of firsts for me and it’s a bit weird, but at the same time it’s kinda nice. I did absolutely nothing this holiday season; I’m just supposed to sit back and enjoy. This is what the holiday season is all about, am I corect?  Then why do I feel so antsy. I have celebrated both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year worry free and with my boyfriend’s family. I should be calm right?

The point is that they celebrate differently than I do and it’s been really nice, but I am totally confused. His family likes to do everything for their kids (my boyfriend and his siblings) and I feel so helpless, but restful, so that’s good. For their Christmases they like to celebrate it the night of Christmas Eve until midnight of Christmas day. This is why I am writing to you on Christmas day in confusion. A full day of rests? More like a hyperventilating Asian girl in panic mode, who has no idea what to do with herself!

Usually on Christmas day at my family’s home we would be cooking for hours, opening a tidal wave of presents, and screaming at each other across the room because there are so many family members in the house. I am so used to celebrating Christmas the only way I know how, and that’s chaotically. This is the total opposite of what I’ve done every year. I’m getting so antsy that I want some to yell at me already, so I can calm down and snap out of it. Maybe I should run around in circles and go outside and scream at everyone “MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!” Run amok in the streets of this quiet neighborhood, Ding-Dong ditch homes, steal people’s trashcans, Scare women and children. These all sound good in theory, or sound great in my head anyway, but you and I both know these are not good choices for a sane person. Today of which I seem not to be. Am I just some sort of Christmas masochist? Am I a Grinch unless for punishment? What kind of monster am I? Tell me I beg of you!

I am probably going crazy and I should enjoy this restful Christmas day. This is a Christmas blessing in disguise, it must be. Plus I appreciate all that the things my boyfriends family has done for me. They are absolutely beautiful people and to show my appreciation I should be calm. I shall say the mantra “stay calm” in my mind until I am. As for now write a list of all the things my crazy mind wants to do.

To all a Merry Chaotic Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! May your day be as restful as you want it to be.

– ❤ Jacqueline

I Wish it Wasn’t True

Holiday Greetings Readers!

Today is Christmas Eve and I wish it wasn’t true but I’m sick. Let me focus on the specific disease I have. I have homesickness. What you heard is correct folks, I surely am HOMEsick.  Ugh this horrible feeling I wish not to have, on a city of which I am in an abusive love/hate relationship with. I do not understand why I woke in a cold sweat on Christmas Eve at 6 o’clock this morning but here I am to write about my hometown. I swear to you that it is not something that I am not very fond of but there must have been subliminal messages running through my dreams last night that has put me up to this dastardly deed. I think the real conspiracy is that the city of San Bernardino must have secret chips implanted into the brains of its citizens like they did to Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, to control them to never leave. I am just one of the lucky ones to have escaped the San Bernardino curse, but I am definitely feeling the after effects of it now. Continue to read and I promise you a cookie once my ranting is done.

I am sure you are still reading for the cookie right? Or at least I hope so.

Okay what is there to say about San Bernardino? Many people ask this question to me and usually I come up with blanks but since last night there were subliminal messages of my hometown running through my head I guess I have lots to say. I mean normal people want to dream of sugarplum fairies before Christmas right? I am just not normal I suppose. Oh right, we were talking about San Bernardino, the city I was born and raised in. San Bernardino or the nicknames for it, San Berdoo, Berdoo, Dino, The Dino, or San B, is a place where everyone wants to leave but somehow will end up living there their whole lives. You will grow up knowing everyone and hating them at the same time, but yet there is some charm to it. Some well-known facts are it’s the birthing place of McDonald’s and Gene Hackman. Who would have thunk it. I don’t think there is any real good sites to see but its more about the memories you make there. The things I miss the most are the things I did with my friends and family in this city and the surrounding cities in the county.

Some PROS:

(be advised there is no ranking, I am just listing as I go)

1. Oak Glen. It is an apple orchard located in the San Bernardino Mountains. The activities that Oak Glen has are a zoo exhibit, a petting zoo, a fishing pond, a little kids museum, nature hiking trails, homemade apple pie, warm apple cider, multiple little stores which sell various gifts and foods. This was THE spot as a kid. My family and I would go here all year round. It was nice any time of the year, in any season.In the spring and summer oak glen was beautiful, with perfect weather, never too hot or too cold. You get to hike, look at the nature, go to the zoo see the animals native there, go to the petting zoo to feed and touch the animals, fish and/or feed the fish, eat yummy apple-y foods (pie, cider, candy, anything!). In the autumn and winter you can see the seasons really change into their bests forms. In autumn you can see the leaves falling and turning to colors of orange, reds, and browns. In the winter there is snow so you can make snowmen, have a snowball fight and when your done you can get some warm cider to warm your hands and face. I remember that if you call ahead you can even have a field trip to see how they make fresh apple cider in the factory.

2. Baker’s Drive-Thru. This is a fast food restaurant chain only located in the Inland Empire. It is said to be “America’s First Twin Kitchen.” I miss this restaurant because it is the main staple of fast food in San Bernardino. I am not a fast food person but what I wouldn’t give for a veggie wrap, fries on the side, a milkshake, and loads of hot sauce to top of my veggie wrap. Every San Bernardinoan will, has, and loves this restaurant and everyone also has their regular that they order every time they go there. There is also a menu full of budget meals which are cheaper but still are filling and delicious. It’s very good price wise and the food never stops on the quality. Plus the milkshakes really hit the spot. In high school everyone would go here for lunch, because it was right up the street to my high school.

3. Prospect Park. This is a large park located in Redlands, CA. It’s a beautiful park with lots of hiking trails. It’s almost like the arboretum of Redlands. So many beautiful flowers and scenery. You can have a picnic there, or for me in High School, ditch classes and hang out there. Either way it’s a great escape and a good mini vacation for anyone. In the park there is the Avice Meeker Sewall Theater which is an outdoor amphitheater. You can come for Shakespeare plays or any other plays  that they are running at the time. I know that most of the time the plays are also free, so come and have a picnic, then see a free play. Also there is a beautiful Victorian mansion called Kimberly Crest, you can take tours of the mansion, also there is a huge koi pond in the front full of koi. It is said that this park is also haunted so stay all day and at night you might even make it a paranormal trip. Who knows what kind of ghosties you can find.

4. Juan Pollo. This is a mexican food chain that sells rotisserie chicken. Kind of like El Pollo Loco but a million times better! Mainly in the Inland Empire and Orange County. Their salsa is delicious, the chicken is juicy and not dry, and their rice, beans, and potato salad is so good.

5. Kay’s Cafe. Located in Highland, CA. It is only open on the weekend and for a few hours a day. This makes me super sad because they have the best breakfasts in Highland. After church every Sunday my father would take me and my brothers for their delicious breakfasts. I love the biscuits and gravy. They also don’t seem to have a website sorry guys, you’re gonna have to google it yourselves.

6. Big Bear. Living right under the mountain means my family and I would go there a lot for the winter. For all the wonderful snow of course. You can go sledding, skiing, snowboarding, build snowmen, whatever you want with snow.

7. Live Oak Canyon Pumpkin Patch and Christmas Tree Farm. It’s a pumpkin patch/christmas tree farm that has lots to do with the family. There are farm tours, corn mazes, you can pick your own pumpkin/tree during the holidays, pet the barnyard animals, hayrides, bouncing houses, pony rides and lots of other activities. My fondest memories of the place is pushing a wheelbarrow around with a shovel and picking my own pumpkin. Also the place always smells of kettle korn, they are always making it when I am there and its a good snack to carry around on the go.

8. My Grandparents’ House. Yeah I think it’s that awesome that I must write about it. A place filled with family and kids running amok in the house. Where the homemade Vietnamese food is delicious and made with love. Where everyone has to scream across the room or dining table to talk to each other. Where there is more rice than you know what to do with. Where Vietnamese news programs and Spongebob Squarepants are playing consecutively. Where you know you are loved and there is a spare baby running around you can snuggle with. This is the controlled chaos that is called my Grandparents’ house. And I wouldn’t take it any other way ❤

There are more but I just can’t write anymore haha. Sorry Guys, but if you’re ever in the Inland Empire then visit these places, except my grandparents’ house, because that’s called stalking. Oh and about that cookie it’s literally impossible for me to give you a cookie through the internet. So go get yourself a cookie and imagine it was me who gave it to you. Also imagine me giving you a pat on the back, then saying “That’s a good reader” in a baby voice. Now hit yourself for imagining something so ridiculous. Man I swear you are all so gullible. Love you still…. ^u^

– ❤ Jacqueline

Things Are Ever Changing

Greetings to all,

Today is December 23rd of 2010, it has been exactly 11 whole months today since I last wrote on Up the Ladder. I can’t believe it’s been that long, but now I’m back with all new little tidbits of my life. Almost everything has changed and all for the better. I’m a lot happier than I’ve been for months. All due to my wonderful boyfriend, I wish I didn’t give him credit because he’s so smelly 😛 hehe just kidding, but he is kinda my life saver right now. He’s really awesome, blah, blah, blah and so on.

Moving on I happened to StumbleUpon a blog called Books of Adam, I just want to say that I’ve only been reading it for about 15 minutes and I can’t stop. It’s really quite funny and not only are his writings funny, but also he does his own illustrations. The illustrations are like the cherry on top of the sundae; they are hilarious accompanied with his writing. Reading and viewing his blog made me really miss writing on my own blog about my own crazy, depressing, funny adventures. It gave me the inspiration to start this habit back up. So thanks Adam Ellis of Books of Adam for giving me the drive to continue writing.

Hmm what has happened… I don’t even know where to begin. I am now 21 years old. Yeah I forgot to write about that. My birthday was on September 13th and I celebrated it with my gays and my girls in West Hollywood, like every girl should on their 21st birthday. The perks of being 21 is that now I can buy booze added on with my huge collection of porn and assorted varieties of tobacco products that I have been collecting since I was 18. Sometimes I like to do all those things simultaneously. Watch vast amounts of porn, smoke til my lungs burst and chug alcohol all at the same time. Then after hold my own hair while I vomit explosively into a toilet, and later lay in bed and cry alone. This is the life of an adult kiddies, it doesn’t get any better than this and don’t you forget it. No seriously I do not do these things and I don’t condone it, unless… fun shit happens.

Continuing on I am also pregnant, yup you heard it hear first readers I am P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T, pregnant, preggers, knocked-the-fuck-up! Just don’t tell my boyfriend, I haven’t told him yet and I don’t think he’ll be down for that. Plus we wouldn’t wanna spoil the surprise now would we. Yeah again I lie to you. I am definitely not pregnant. But what is true is I am now a nanny to a special little fatty baby man. He’s so adorable and I wouldn’t have it any other way. No in all honesty this is the truth, you know my stance on ugly babies. If I hadn’t told you in a previous blog, I said and I quote ” 300 their ass and throw them off a fucking cliff” I think I said that anyway. Anyways the baby is beautiful and thank the gods. I’m talking to you Zeus!

I know I have lost your trust with all my lies, but something truthful I can say is I’ve started school again. It’s been great and it also had taken all my time these last few months. I don’t wanna blame my blog dry spell on school but it’s all school’s fault I swear! Even though it only started in August, I swear on my mothers life -cough- hopefully she dies -cough- (just kidding, okay half kidding) that school was the reason I had taken a sabbatical. Now it’s time for some winter break and I should be writing in you more often ;).

Speaking of school, the one class that especially took over my life is my theatre class. It was ridiculously intensive for no reason with a John Stamos look-a-like as a professor/”working” actor. John Stamos would start everyday with walking down the aisles flipping his hair and excessively spewing his “experience” or his “perfect” life story to a class filled with Slutty wannabe Divas, little kids, and few of us normal people. I of course did not fit into the category of Slutty Divas or Little Kids, so I was the outcast. Out of all the normal people in the class I was one of the good ones, also I have to credit the multi-talented Amy Zapata for too being one of the good ones. We survived those kiss-assing “Actress” bitches and the lazy underachieving children. Huzzah to us Amy! If you wanna see for yourself my John Stamos look alike professor you can IMDb him. His name is Nicholas Guilak and I repeat Nicholas Guilak. Maybe my little blog gets him some publicity. After all any publicity is good publicity right?

Ok for realsies what the fuck happened with the time? It’s gonna be mother fucking Christmas in 2 days! This year went by in a flash and pretty soon it’s going to be 2011 already. Another year older to you Planet Earth and soon enough we’ll be celebrating your birthday at midnight on January1st. So for now I end this blog with a countdown to Planet Earth’s birthday. I’m sorry I was not allowed to give you a proper send off, due to someone giving me time constraints, but I promise I will give you a better one next time. See you later kiddies.

– ❤ Jacqueline

Androgynous

Hello,

Yes I am still living. Living is okay for right now, I mean everything can be better of course. I could be a millionaire, have my own home and have a pool filled with pudding and all that nonsense that people dream about having. But nope I’m just living. I’m happy I suppose, that’s a good thing. I’m alive and well and so is everyone around me. All is well. I am up as always. This night owl works best at night and in the dark. So whats on my mind tonight? Hmm um well maybe this whole categorization of what a female and male ought to be. I’ve grown up to know that girls like pink, dolls, diamonds, shiny pretty things, home making, arts and crafts, cooking, etc. And boys like blue, automobiles, sports, video games, electronics, raunchy gross things etc. What if you’re a girl who happens to like boy stuff? AKA Me, I feel as if this is a blessing and a curse. I love hanging out with the guys, being one of the boys, whatever you want to call it, but I still would like to be seen as a girl and not just one of the boys. I love comics, video games, technology, raunchy humor, and more stuff that men love. Hanging out with guys is tons of fun, but it’s as if they totally forget and neglect the feminine side of me. The fact that I literally have different parts than them and also that I still have XX chromosomes don’t pass their mind at all. Once your in as a buddy or pal with one of your guys friends its all over and its as if they have forever put you in the category of one of the boys. You are doomed to stay there for the rest of your relationship. The blessing being you are officially gonna be their pal, the downfall being that now they think you also have a penis, or at least they act that way. I’m just stuck in this middle, where I wanna keep being one of the boys but I’d love to be a girl sometimes and for them to recognize that I am one too.  Oh not only am I a girl who likes things men like, I’m a STRAIGHT girl who likes things men like. Me being a straight female does not mean I enjoy or am really attracted to women. I can tell you if she is good-looking and attractive, but does this mean I want to constantly look or notice women’s cleavage or their other ample sized assets. The answer is no. I just smile and agree, but never will  I ever be truly attracted to women as much as my guy friends are. I have no problem in my friends looking. It’s human for males to look whether straight, gay, bi, whatever. Men like to look and will look all the time. That’s healthy and fine for men to do this. I really don’t care if you do look, but you don’t have to tell me all the time. Every once in a while is fine, but all the time is like women overload.  Also sometimes it makes me bit self-conscious.  It makes me doubt my own looks. I mean I don’t love the way I look, but I am okay with how I look. I wouldn’t count myself as a beauty, but I am average. With all the attention men give to how women look sometimes it feels like as if attraction is ONLY from outward appearances. That people are really just that shallow. Which I know my friends and this isn’t true, but attraction is a key player.  Another problem I have is the whole attraction thing, I don’t know how to attract without coming off as a cool new friend/boy. Do my friends/men not notice me at all. I have no idea. It seems as if I am just going to be the girl who will be the perpetual friend to all men. I’m in limbo It’s okay I’ll deal for now, this is what I’m going to have to do.

-<3 Jacqueline

LOVE!

I MISS YOU!!!

-<3 Jacqueline

I don’t know…

Hey there (mainly talking to myself)

I don’t really understand anything right now. I don’t know what direction I am going in. I can’t see what I am doing in a year, much less a week, or even a few days. I don’t get to see anyone but myself, who is slowly deteriorating as time goes by. I feel as if I am becoming a hollow shell. I have my living needs such as eating and sleeping, but nothing is that enjoyable anymore. I put on a fake smile and go on to make others happy. I miss people more than they can know and it hurts. I try to forget or concentrate on other things except there is not much else to do. You run out of things to do and when you do you’re just left with this crying, heaving, sad lump and then you realize it’s you that is this crying, heaving, sad lump. I don’t know who I am anymore. As shallow as this seems, I look into a mirror and hate what I see. I used to semi-like what I saw, but now I hate it. I don’t want to be who I see in that wretched mirror. I wish it was a lie and this mirror was deceiving me, but it’s not. I absolutely hate what I see, I think maybe I can jus wear make-up or put on another outfit, but I can still see my face. If you look at my face it’s a dead give away of how I am feeling. I’m not good at hiding my emotions even if I try, or who knows maybe I am good at it after all no one around me looks at my face and can tell I’m not happy. I understand I’m not pretty, I never have been but, right now it’s not even an I’m ok with myself when I look in the mirror it’s a hate, loathe, detest against myself. I feel this deep down in the pit of my heart everytime I look at myself. AND Fuck these tears that won’t stop. Why can’t they stop and why won’t they just stop. Anytime I am alone they seem to come up. I feel it in my heart first then before you know it they are streaming down from my eyes, down my cheeks, to my chin, and lastly to my hands that feel the wetness and makes me come to the realization of what I am doing. Crying. I am so over crying, its so yesterday like that Hilary Duff song (Sorry gotta lighten up this article up somewhere, I hope I made u laugh even a little). I’m just plain ol’ not happy.  This is it I suppose, there is nothing else to say and I am done typing with tear-soaked fingers. I am done doing anything with tear-soaked fingers. Goodnight.

 — Jacqueline

Birthdays, Vlogs, and Demi OH MY!

Hola lovelies,

I am from that place called Southern California I guess I should be a bit more multi-cultural so I shall start with Hola. Thank you for all the Chicanos for making me who I am – thumbs up to u-… which is an Asian girl But most of all An AMERICAN! You all should now imagine an Asian girl with an American Flag waving in the background while she tears her shirt 😉 … AND underneath is the Superwoman S. I guess that wasn’t that cool most of us Asian women are sadly underdeveloped, but it was a risqué and attention getting move.

I realize it is about due time for me to write on this thing and so I am here to entertain the Internet again with my absolute genius or complete stupidity. Either one I will take, anything to get my audience entertained. Also there is the fact that I can’t sleep. Why must the lack of sleep always seem to be the case. As a matter of fact I realize that possibly 90% of my blog posts have been because of the fact that I could not sleep. This might be a dramatization but ehhh I’m not going to calculate it. So while all of you gain, I lose… sleep anyway. Okay I’m rambling need to get to a point somewhere in this post…. think Jackie think! Umm.. well school is about to start for those who I love and are currently going to school. I still have no idea what I’m doing right at this moment or in life. That’s promising I think.

So I forgot that I had a webcam until today and I’m now thinking up ideas of maybe doing some vlogs. Yes I mean those video blogs. This is so you all can see me. That’s a scary image, but literally that IS a scary image. I’m not yet sure if I want you guys to actually see me in my natural habitat. Who knows there could be some stalkers wandering the web who just happen to find me, their prey EEEEKKKK SCARY! Just kidding but if I do plan to come up with some vlogs you all will see them posted up. Oh and for those of you who want to keep up with me and well just wanna know what I’m doing and feeling at ALL times my twitter is LoveOfCardigans be careful kiddies I do twitter a lot though 🙂 I like people knowing about me. Oh gosh what am I doing? I will now certainly have stalkers especially if you are following me on twitter. Ehh I’ll take my chances. Oh what the heck here’s my facebook too just click here . I might not be your friend automatically, but if you specify to me you read my blog I might give you some leeway.

So today, well more like yesterday but I haven’t slept yet so I’m saying its today, is a couple people’s Birthday the most important is my friend Amber’s birthday. Happy Happy and a million times more Happy Birthday love. Next is my friend’s dad’s birthday and also it’s his parents anniversary ^u^ so Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary it’s quite cute if I don’t say so myself. Next up is not that important… ok so I’m lying it is very important it’s Demi Lovato‘s birthday hehehe. Okay so it’s not that important but I am partial to her and I do love her, after all she is my Disney Twin. I celebrated her 17th birthday by listening to her album, which I am doing now while I write this blog teehee 🙂 My favorite song used to be Catch Me, but it’s changing and for right now it’s Stop the World. This is because in the song Catch me she says the word Catch weirdly and for the lyric “like a child running scared from a clown” not my favorite lyric Miss Lovato. I do really like her whole album though besides that lyric and her pronunciation problem. Also to celebrate I watched Streetrat’s new videos which made this day even better. Just click on streetrat to see the webpage and this is the video I watched to celebrate It is without a doubt hilarious. You all should check out this video and streetrat’s other videos.

Hhhmmm what else should I write…

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Let’s see I almost went blank for a second but my Mother is set on this cleansing cabbage soup diet and unfortunately she has got me on board with her. I think a fitting title to her ship on which I am now sailor to should be called the S.S. Death of Starvation. I am sure to die on this little dingy, but I am gonna do it. I am starting it tomorrow. I’ll probably, like the title of her ship, Die of Starvation haha. We shall see my darlings.

Ugh talking about birthdays I realize my own is coming up soon. I hate my birthday, it’s a horrid day of which I grow older every year. It’s not like I don’t enjoy presents, those are always nice hehe, but its the recognition from not only myself but everyone else that I am a year older. When I wake up I get to hear happy birthday from my family and friends then everywhere I go I can hear other people say happy birthday also. How do they know I’m just guessing it was the Devil. Yes I’m sure he put a post-it note on his calendar at his desk, I’m just presuming it’s made of a nice dark cherry red wood, and put out a mass email to his cohorts to remind everyone in the world it is my birthday. Either this or he put out a bulletin on which those annoying little pull off tabs went flying everywhere to everyone. Well I guess it’s better to be told happy birthday than for people to forget your birthday or that you exist. Thanks Devil for loving me so! Or at least it’s not like my father who has forgotten my birthday for about the last 10 years of my life. What a great guy he is. Okay I’m just a little bitter… Maybe a lot. I did just put the devil at a bit higher esteem than my own father. Ehh I love the man no one said I had to like him or say nice things about him anyway.

Okay well I think I am out of juice and winding down to say goodbye. But I promise to write in you again, someday ❤

Love Ya,

Jacqueline