Greetings to all,

Today is December 23rd of 2010, it has been exactly 11 whole months today since I last wrote on Up the Ladder. I can’t believe it’s been that long, but now I’m back with all new little tidbits of my life. Almost everything has changed and all for the better. I’m a lot happier than I’ve been for months. All due to my wonderful boyfriend, I wish I didn’t give him credit because he’s so smelly :P hehe just kidding, but he is kinda my life saver right now. He’s really awesome, blah, blah, blah and so on.

Moving on I happened to StumbleUpon a blog called Books of Adam, I just want to say that I’ve only been reading it for about 15 minutes and I can’t stop. It’s really quite funny and not only are his writings funny, but also he does his own illustrations. The illustrations are like the cherry on top of the sundae; they are hilarious accompanied with his writing. Reading and viewing his blog made me really miss writing on my own blog about my own crazy, depressing, funny adventures. It gave me the inspiration to start this habit back up. So thanks Adam Ellis of Books of Adam for giving me the drive to continue writing.

Hmm what has happened… I don’t even know where to begin. I am now 21 years old. Yeah I forgot to write about that. My birthday was on September 13th and I celebrated it with my gays and my girls in West Hollywood, like every girl should on their 21st birthday. The perks of being 21 is that now I can buy booze added on with my huge collection of porn and assorted varieties of tobacco products that I have been collecting since I was 18. Sometimes I like to do all those things simultaneously. Watch vast amounts of porn, smoke til my lungs burst and chug alcohol all at the same time. Then after hold my own hair while I vomit explosively into a toilet, and later lay in bed and cry alone. This is the life of an adult kiddies, it doesn’t get any better than this and don’t you forget it. No seriously I do not do these things and I don’t condone it, unless… fun shit happens.

Continuing on I am also pregnant, yup you heard it hear first readers I am P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T, pregnant, preggers, knocked-the-fuck-up! Just don’t tell my boyfriend, I haven’t told him yet and I don’t think he’ll be down for that. Plus we wouldn’t wanna spoil the surprise now would we. Yeah again I lie to you. I am definitely not pregnant. But what is true is I am now a nanny to a special little fatty baby man. He’s so adorable and I wouldn’t have it any other way. No in all honesty this is the truth, you know my stance on ugly babies. If I hadn’t told you in a previous blog, I said and I quote ” 300 their ass and throw them off a fucking cliff” I think I said that anyway. Anyways the baby is beautiful and thank the gods. I’m talking to you Zeus!

I know I have lost your trust with all my lies, but something truthful I can say is I’ve started school again. It’s been great and it also had taken all my time these last few months. I don’t wanna blame my blog dry spell on school but it’s all school’s fault I swear! Even though it only started in August, I swear on my mothers life -cough- hopefully she dies -cough- (just kidding, okay half kidding) that school was the reason I had taken a sabbatical. Now it’s time for some winter break and I should be writing in you more often ;) .

Speaking of school, the one class that especially took over my life is my theatre class. It was ridiculously intensive for no reason with a John Stamos look-a-like as a professor/”working” actor. John Stamos would start everyday with walking down the aisles flipping his hair and excessively spewing his “experience” or his “perfect” life story to a class filled with Slutty wannabe Divas, little kids, and few of us normal people. I of course did not fit into the category of Slutty Divas or Little Kids, so I was the outcast. Out of all the normal people in the class I was one of the good ones, also I have to credit the multi-talented Amy Zapata for too being one of the good ones. We survived those kiss-assing “Actress” bitches and the lazy underachieving children. Huzzah to us Amy! If you wanna see for yourself my John Stamos look alike professor you can IMDb him. His name is Nicholas Guilak and I repeat Nicholas Guilak. Maybe my little blog gets him some publicity. After all any publicity is good publicity right?

Ok for realsies what the fuck happened with the time? It’s gonna be mother fucking Christmas in 2 days! This year went by in a flash and pretty soon it’s going to be 2011 already. Another year older to you Planet Earth and soon enough we’ll be celebrating your birthday at midnight on January1st. So for now I end this blog with a countdown to Planet Earth’s birthday. I’m sorry I was not allowed to give you a proper send off, due to someone giving me time constraints, but I promise I will give you a better one next time. See you later kiddies.

- <3 Jacqueline