Meh :/

Hello readers,

So life is moving on. My soap opera of a life is still as dramarific as always and always a new dramatic situation at that. Everything is different yet the same. Family dramas different but the same feeling. My Great Aunt has left she decided to make her trip to America short, she missed her family very much.  My great aunt’s stay here was a dramatic one. There were too many altercations between her and my grandmother. It’s just a new world for my great aunt since she is from Vietnam and she doesn’t understand American customs. Also My grandmother and her have a lot of heated history and bad blood between them. With my aunt being here you would think she’d love the freedom and the ease of the American lifestyle, but nope she was bored half of the time. I’m not sure if she even enjoyed it a little bit. I hope she enjoyed my company at least or the company of the rest of the family. Apparently everyone is bragging about how beautiful my little brother is, ppssshhtt whatever. Just kidding he is a pretty good looking kid. We drove her to the airport and got there by 10 and stayed with her til around 1. Her flight wasn’t until 3 in the morning. There were some problems regarding her luggage. There is a weight limit for the amount of pounds you can bring along with you on a flight. Unfortunately the luggage exceeded the weight limit, but it exceeded it by just a small purse. This caused such a stir with China Airlines that this little purse cost my grandmother $109 dollars. She was livid! She was so frustrated she just paid the airlines and then we got such rough service with the baggage. My poor grandparents and great aunt. Oh well she is safe and sound now back in Vietnam.To continue with the drama in Vietnam my great aunt’s son might have gambled my grandmother’s house in Vietnam. I don’t know what is going on, but apparently my great aunt’s son isn’t the greatest guy 😦

On Saturday is my cousin Linh’s birthday party. I’m not going and that’s it PERIOD. I have other plans with other people and my family and other friends of my family are guilt tripping me into going. I feel really bad that I’m not going, but I really don’t want to go. One of my friends who is friends with the family just told me that I’m a person who chooses friends over family and that family is more important so why am I not going. I love my family no matter what, but sometimes I just don’t wanna be put into a situation where its uncomfortable for me. I love them very much I just know it will be uncomfortable for me because my dad’s side of the family is so different from me. I am so sorry. I feel so guilty about this 😦 I honestly hope me not going doesn’t haunt me later.

ok I am done writing I suppose. I am just not in it today. Nothing funny, just kinda blah.

– ❤ Jacqueline

All is…. meh :/

Hiya!!!! -ninja kick-

Just felt like a dramatic entrance was the way to go -thumbs up- (if you do not want to read about Disney stuff, which I know you all do, but if you dont please dont read in between the ditted lines)

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So I’m listening some songs from the new Demi Lovato album. I love it so much. I am not embarrassed only slightly to say that I love her music and shes jus plain adorable. I know this Disney obsession is going farther off the deep end than I thought.

To add along with that I watched the episodes of Wizards on deck with Hannah Montana. It was ehhh I’m not a fan of Wizards of Waverly Place. Selena Gomez/Alex Russo with her rude punkiness and practical jokes. The only reason to watch is for David Henrie/Justin Russo who’s the real hottie of the show 😉 and I’m also not a big fan of  The Suite Life on Deck annoying twins. I can do without those shows just keep David Henrie . But I love Hannah Montana so I stayed tuned to the television and watched. It was mediocre. I didn’t enjoy it that much. The episodes in consecutive order was first the Wizards of Waverly Place, then The Suite Life on Deck, then the Hannah Montana episode. None of the characters on Hannah Montana were on the Wizards episode and vice versa none of the characters on Wizards were on the Hannah Montana episode. The people of Suite Life seemed to be the only connecting link at all. Coincidence?? I think not! Too much animosity between Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus I think especially with the best friend girlfriend stealing and because Demi Lovato is dating Trace Fug-Face Cyrus, Selena can’t deal. It’s like betrayal to poor Selena (AKA weirdly shaped headed lesbian girl, yes this nickname is longer than her actual name. Do u have a problem with that?). I don’t necessarily like Selena but its sad that the relationship between Demi and Selena is in a way broken. Why do you have to date Fug-Face!!!! Why Demi!!! I know he’s a “musician” and that’s all hot and stuff, but hes twenty years old love, your a baby! Date someone your age, he can still be a musician its ok. Just not fug-face ok! and hey your best friend girlfriend or whatever you guys are needs to stay the way it is. Hey the evidence is on TWITTER!!! I’m not getting my facts from out of the blue! But anyway the episodes were mediocre. I don’t remember much of it anyway because of the fact that I didn’t like it.

Oh well moving on I watched the 2 part special of Hannah Montana “He could be the one”. It was sooo fricken adorable, it had many implied inappropriate jokes. That’s just the way 🙂 Plus the adorable song and the unforgettable quotes such as “Nacho cheese”, “The walrus sings at midnight”, “you just kissed a ceramic monkey and then broke up with it”, and a lot more. Who does she chooses Jake the on-again off-again love of her life or the new bad boy guitarist Jesse??? You can go watch and find out for yourself, I’m not telling!!! All in all it is absolutely adorable.  Go watch it people.

More of Disney love to go along with this is that I love the shows Sonny with a Chance and Jonas. I am turning into such a loser. Both hilarious and cute, the only bad part is the show Jonas when they sing. Please close your mouths boys. I can’t take the high pitched screaming anymore. By all means just stop. Also surprisingly everyones’ least favorite Kevin is the funniest of the three.

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Life is okay. A lot of stuff to deal with. I feel as if I live in a soap opera at times. There is always some scandalous event happening in my house. Who needs a telanovela (well more like Vietnamese drama) when you can just come down to my house. There has to be a way I can SAP Vietnamese language to translate for people or maybe real life subtitles/better yet dubbing with absolutely horrible simple translations of Vietnamese.You can find me in this Viet Drama, I’ll be the girl at the front door selling tickets to get inside; also a small part in the family as the oldest daughter. Hopefully I can get some profit off of my crazy family from this equally crazy economy. Not to put my family on blast or anything, I just wish people would chillax like in Canada. (the word chillax originated from Canada or so said my friend) Well I will learn to live with it and time does heal everything or so they say. I really need to not get my information from so many other people’s hearsay anymore.

As much as I love my family, I’d love to get as far away from them as I can. I need space. I don’t get any, I am always with them 24/7 hearing, listening, seeing, doing things with them. I miss my friends. I miss having conversations face to face with people who I love other than people who are my family. I miss everyone not related to me. I miss that old man I used to see all the time just walking his old dog on the sidewalk down the street in Highland (I don’t see him walk anymore I wonder where he went, I honestly hope he is okay) I miss people I don’t even know.  I miss the surroundings of the places I used to go. It hasn’t been a long period of time, but I’m allowed to miss them. Especially because I can see them so clearly in my head. With all the junk, trash, gossip, drama, LIFE that is going on in my head I can still see all the things I miss dearly. People reading this might think that I am being dramatic, but I don’t care I feel what I feel and I miss what I miss. What can be done of that? It’s not as if I can go in reverse and stop feeling because guess what …I’m human and this is what humans do, they feel. Even a person like me who hates showing emotions or suppresses them from floating to the surface, I feel. It sucks but I deal with it. Just wanted to let everyone know that I miss and love you guys a lot.

Okay I think this is my exit. I’ll be seeing more of you in the bloggerverse bye 🙂

❤ Jacqueline

New Friends on the way

Salutations,

Sorry I was watching Charlotte’s Web, the cartoon one not the live action one with that little alien Dakota Fanning. Isn’t it strange how things can change within one whole day. Well significant changes. I have my small fits of whatever I was feeling yesterday. I am tired of feeling this though. I know everything has their ups and downs, but what happens when it seems like its more down than up. I don’t like it and I know no one else likes it either. Maybe it is just a test that I have to go through and will get better with time. I am better and obviously the isolation failed, but I didn’t say it even started anyway. I will have to try again because I know I will feel like that again sooner. It comes and goes, but when it comes it seems to come harder and more frequently. It keeps coming back sooner and sooner. But moving on I am feeling a bit cheerier than yesterday, bit being the keyword in this.

 Took a glance at Fail Blog today http://failblog.org/ got a good laugh at a few things such as:  

and many other things. You just have to find out for yourself.

So I realized everyone is going to Disneyland tomorrow, except for me. I’m going to have the house to myself. It’ll be nice and peaceful. I have no idea what to do yet. One of my friends suggested PORN TIME, but I politely declined that suggestion with a HARD and FIRM…… no. My list so far consists of swimming  in the pool and umm well swimming in the pool. I think the answer will be swimming in the pool. Maybe I could spontaneously…swim in the pool. Maybe I’ll just walk around the pool and without thinking about it just jump in fully clothed. I’ll just trick myself. I’ll trick myself into thinking that there is a port key at the bottom of the pool that will take me directly to Hogwarts… good plan jack, good plan. I am patting myself on the back as we speak.   I think that might be the bit of spontaneityI need in my life. Well never mind, writing about it makes it not spontaneous. Lets see what else could I do. Hhhmmm???  I was thinking about making more friends. Maybe I can go door to door around my neighborhood and ask if they’re looking for a friend. I’ll be their special friend if you know what I mean.  -thunderous laughs- Well seriously I need to add more people to my repertoire of friends. I love the friends I have now, but the more the merrier. I think the commencement of friend auditions will be greatly appreciated to not only me, but the friends I already have. I will put out an ad at once. The subjects of criteria needed include: FUNNY, male or female (prefer male, usually funner if they’re male, willing to do more things ;] ), nerdy (but not socially awkward nerdy), please do not be emotional (I hate crying), and that’s about it. If you fit all these requirements than please by all means come to the auditions they will be placed at my house (or better yet just leave me a comment or something lol). I can see the people lined up now. Hopefully I find a new friend in a jiffy. Jiffy Lube 😉 ok I will stop these sexual innuendos. Maybe I should just get my own show, like Paris Hilton. But way more awesome!  I will put them through rigorous challenges in which to see who will be in my new set of friends. In the latest commercial of that Paris Hilton best friend show the prospective BFFs are carrying little Paris dolls, I think this can be adapted for my own show. They can hold little Jacquelines, who they can dress and take care of, Tell her jokes, kiss her on her lil head, tell her bedtime stories before she goes to bed, tuck her in. Thats all I want -single tear- I just want LOVE! If your interested in a cool, awesome, funny, Asian girl as a friend this is where to look!

Another story of the day. I was sitting on the couch and the next thing I know I hear my mom say is “Boner Point”. A young confused girl as I had no idea but to panic and search for the closest weapon. Only to realize that my mother had thought the host on the television had said “Boner Point’ when in actuality he had said ‘Bonus Point”.  

Ok I guess that’s all I have for the night. I will see you tomorrow I promise my loves.

❤ Jacqueline

(P.S. Auditions to start tomorrow, be there or be square!!!)

Isolation

It’s been a long time my love but I have returned!

 

A lot and also nothing has happened at the same time. I am no longer in Northridge. I moved back to my mom’s house. It’s like the smell of defeat… I’m actually getting used to the smell. I lost my iPhone I’m not sure that any of you guys even knew I had an iPhone but I did. RIP baby -tears streaming down my face- I am pregnant…. oops WTF NO I’m not. Sorry wrong person.  Besides that life is the same. I has it’s ups and downs. Mainly downs right now but I’m sure the ups will be here in no time. I’m just annoyed, confused and fricken HOT right now. I absolutely hate the summer. I don’t like hot weather. Why can’t it be Fall all of the time? It’s pretty and the weather is perfect. Oh well what can I do I guess the earth must spin while rotating around the sun.

 

Moving on with life. I’m just confused right now. I’m on the cusp of deciding to completely go into isolation (not you wordpress, not from you! I hope the blog gods did not hear me) or just coasting on whatever life I have now. Isolation meaning no contact with anyone. I just wanna be alone. I am always with people (mainly my family) and the people I do want to be with are in other places, but then again I have no idea if they want me to be hanging out with them anyway. People have their own shit to deal with and I am not helping any. I just don’t know anymore. There are people I want to help but don’t want me to help them and there are people who I wish would be there more often but they aren’t. I think maybe the best thing is to just go away for a little while, let nature and time cure things on its own. Maybe me popping out of the picture could possibly be a good thing not only for myself to gather whatever life I have right now, but also everyone else. I feel like such an annoyance to people sometimes and then I ask myself why I even bother to try. Isolation would benefit me to just learn to be myself, find myself and then after I can get back to being a friend to other people. I can see the benefits, but also I can see the downfall to my plan. I’m not sure if I am strong enough to just leave, go, stop everything and breathe. I will miss too many people and knowing me I’ll fail at this isolation plan. I’m a worrier and I hate it. It’s like I need everyone else to be ok, before I can be ok. Also I can’t stop thinking, this has got to be some kind of psychological problem right? I wish it was. I’m still thinking about everything. I don’t know how long this Isolation will be, maybe a few days. a few weeks, a month I don’t know. As long as it takes to just let go and forget about everything. I know I always same the same thing or at least I think about it all the time. Maybe one day I just need to do it and do it soon before I breakdown. Maybe I’m jus having a bad day, or more bad days than I should in a row and this will pass or I really do need isolation from EVERYONE to cool off and let go. We’ll see if this isolation commences or not.

 

I just never feel like I am enough for anyone. I love everyone very much. I’ll hopefully write back soon.

 

❤ Jacqueline